A Tribute to a Soul Sister

by Cheryl A. Jones Cumbee

Honolulu, October 13, 2001

Memorial to The Rev. Dr. Phyllis Roe

Phyllis Roe was and forever will be my Soul Sister. She was a weaver, a dancer and a diamond over Diamondhead. I was not nor will I ever be ready to say "good-bye" to Phyllis. I last talked with her on Tuesday, June 26th, before her second heart surgery on Thursday, June 28. She had walked in Central Park that morning and was ready to get on with her second heart surgery. I marveled at her courage and her remarkable recovery from her first heart surgery two weeks earlier. She expressed gratitude for the wonderfully strong net of loving messages and prayers surrounding and supporting her. I in turn was grateful to be apart of her internet connection. Portions of a Hawaiian prayer she had taught me come to mind:

        That we cherish the bread before there is none,
        Discover each other before we leave,  
        Enjoy each other for what we are,
        While we still have time.
  

I had no idea that our last phone conversation would end our body-life hospitality.

Hospitality was a gift Phyllis and I shared as Soul Sisters from the S.E. Region, Pacific Region and the A.A.P.C. Board of Governors. As chair of the Pacific Region from 1989-1993, I welcomed Phyllis and Michael into our region and celebrated their pioneering work in pastoral counseling in Hawaii. When Michael tragically died in January 1991, Phyllis and I stayed connected. She welcomed my visit to Oahu when I was regional chair and sponsored an A.A.P.C luncheon for staff and others interested in A.A.P.C. A year later, Phyllis had Dwight and me house and dog sit for her while she went to the mainland. Such were the gifts of our soul sister friendship.

In office, home and boardroom, Phyllis's creativity as weaver and dancer were profoundly evident. Phyllis was at home weaving cultures, religions, psychological theories and personalities into a rich tapestry of life. Phyllis was at home dancing in the musical cultures of east and west, north and south. Phyllis welcomed diversity and her latest dancing colleagues shared their musical gifts with us last night: another tribute to Phyllis.

Phyllis was at home on her beloved Island of Oahu. Her leadership here and in the Pacific Region is profoundly evident this weekend. There is on old Quaker saying, "Let your life speak before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen to what it intends to do with you. Before you tell your life what the truths and values you have to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent."

Phyllis Roe's life tells us what truths she embodied and what values she lived. Her life's leadership weaving and dancing in the field of pastoral counseling in Hawaii was unprecedented. Phyllis Roe's life in the creative areas of weaving and dance tells us that Phyllis can continue to lead us into weaving future service of diversity, respect, and hospitality for diverse regions and cultures. Phyllis Roe's impact on the lives of pastoral counselors and on the field of pastoral counseling tells us that we need to call upon Phyllis to teach us and show us the way.

Joe Whittwell from the S.E. Region read the following poem at Phyllis's Memorial in Denver in August.

Autopsy in the form of an Elegy

By John Stone

In the chest
in the heart
was the vessel

was the pulse
was the art
was the love

was the clot
small and slow
and the scar
that could not know

the rest of you
was very nearly perfect.

Indeed, the rest of Phyllis was very nearly perfect. She was, is and remains, "a diamond over Diamondhead 'till the end of time." Her ashes flow free.

Her spirit lives on
in her beloved home of Hawaii
in the Samaritan Counseling Center of Hawaii
in the Pacific Region of A.A.P.C.
in the Association leadership of A.A.P.C.
and
in the hearts, minds and souls of all who knew her,
family and friends alike.

Phyllis was and is our Soul Sister.

Thanks be to God for the Life of Phyllis Roe!

Rev. Cheryl A. Jones Cumbee, D.Min., Executive Director, Faith Counseling Center, Scottsdale, Arizona, is a dear colleague who with Phyllis Roe and others has been a long time leader of the Pacific Region, AAPC.