A description of the Prayer Circle at Phyllis' bedside after her death

 written by Margaret Kornfeld, 2001
Pastoral Psychotherapist in New York City, and president of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors

...We knew that it was time to say goodbye. I'd brought my liturgical stole and The Book of Common Prayer. (I thought that our United Methodist minister, Phyllis, would appreciate the ecumenical twist of her American Baptist friend reading from the ritual of "Prayers at the Time of Death".) Ben had brought with him wonderful cd's. I ran out to buy a cd player and we then chose Rachmaninoff's Vespers to gather us - and our aching hearts - together around her bedside. I then read:

You have departed, O Christian soul, out of this world;
In the name of God the Father Almighty who created you;
In the name of Jesus Christ who redeemed you;
In the name of the Holy Spirit who sanctifies you.
May your rest be in peace
and your dwelling place in the Paradise of God.

Then each of us anointed her, using our own tears instead of oil, as I prayed: Into your hands, O merciful Saviour, we commend your servant Phyllis. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, and a sinner of your own redeeming. Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of ever lasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints of light.

We then entered into a "Quaker time" of silence, and as we were moved, prayed. At one point Toni began to softly sing, "All Is Well With My Soul", and we all joined in. And then, when the time was right, I prayed this beautiful prayer from the Orthodox rite as we were surrounded by the music of the Vespers:

O God of Spirits and of all Flesh, you have conquered death and given life to this world of yours. Give rest O Lord to your departed servant, Phyllis, in place of light and rest, a place in which all pain, and sorrow and sighing have vanished. O Lord, grant Phyllis the rest of happiness and let her memory last for ever.

Let her memory last for ever. (People repeat)
Let her memory last for ever. (People repeat)
Let her memory last for ever. (People repeat)

Amen.